


The Little Lamb

by Sarina_Hawke_Theirin



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 04:53:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2375309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarina_Hawke_Theirin/pseuds/Sarina_Hawke_Theirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a wild party in Hawke's estate, she and Anders discover Varric's journal on the floor while cleaning up and find out about a secret Isabela has been hiding from her friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Little Lamb

**Author's Note:**

> Bioware owns all.

Brianna stepped over Isabela's passed out form in front of the door to the kitchen. She was helping Bodahn clear away the mess of her first dinner party in the mansion after all of the renovations had been completed. It had been Isabela's idea to have a housewarming party, but Brianna quickly realized that it was going to be something much more involved when her two rogue companions sent over several kegs of ale and cases of wine, rum and whiskey from the Hanged Man that morning. The mage sighed as she dumped several mugs into the crock. She should have known better than to let a pirate plan her dinner party. In fact, after only an hour, her friends had gotten so rowdy that her mother decided to spend the night at Uncle Gamlen's in Lowtown.

Brianna had at least tried to maintain a certain amount of decorum, only sipping her wine and not allowing herself to become intoxicated. But the others all ended up passing out from one end of the estate to the other. Even Aveline was slumped down in one of the overstuffed chairs in the library with a spilled mug on the floor next to her hand.

She felt someone reach around her waist to drop a couple more mugs into the crock and turned to see Anders standing there, his warm amber eyes filled with amusement.

"Quite the party, eh?" he chuckled.

Brianna's brow furrowed. "I thought you were out along with the others."

He flashed an easy grin, causing the blue-eyed mage to suck in a quick breath. "No. It's like I told you before, Justice won't allow me to get drunk. I was pretending to sleep while Isabela was doing her damned level best to get into Fenris's pants. I must have dozed off at some point then."

"How in the Maker's name were you able to sleep with all of the ruckus?" Brianna asked with bewilderment.

The healer shrugged. "You'd be amazed what you can sleep through when you live in the Undercity." He then placed his hands on his hips and exhaled loudly. "So what do you say we hurry up and get this mess cleaned up so we can get to bed ourselves?" His face turned a bright shade of red. "I…I mean…so we can get some sleep. You know…you here in your own bed…alone, and me at my clinic."

A nervous giggle escaped Brianna's throat before she bit her lips to hold it back to keep from embarrassing him anymore. "I knew what you meant, Anders.

He shook his head as he placed his hand over his eyes. "Dear, sweet Maker that was awful." He peered at her between his fingers. "I used to be much more debonair around women. I think living in the sewers is beginning to take its toll."

She pulled his hand from his face and felt a small shock of electricity from the contact. "It's fine, Anders" she reassured him. "Really."

He let out a small laugh. "Well, now that I have so efficiently and eloquently put my foot in my mouth, would you like for me to stay and help?"

"Of course" Brianna replied, a bit more eagerly than she had anticipated. "I won't turn down help when it is offered, and I'm sure Bodahn would appreciate it…Besides…I think I would rather enjoy the company."

Anders' brown eyes twinkled as he flashed a crooked smile at her words. "As would I."

They stood there for several moments gazing into each other's eyes before the healer gestured toward the door with his hands and flourished a bow. "After you, milady."

Brianna curtsied. "Why thank you, kind ser" she told him as she batted her eyelashes before heading into the main room, again stepping over Isabela.

She decided to dismiss Bodahn for the evening and as she and Anders began cleaning in earnest, they chatted about the latest happenings in the Undercity and Hightown. It had been months since Brianna had gotten a chance to speak to the healer and she had missed him. While picking up the table around Varric, she spotted a small, thin book on the floor. Assuming that the dwarf must have dropped it, she picked it up and laid it next to the dwarf's head. Anders, who was busy working on the other side of the table, retrieved it and began thumbing through the pages.

"What's this?" he asked curiously.

Brianna snatched it from his hand. "I think it's one of Varric's journals."

The healer grabbed it again. "I've always wanted to get my hands on one of these."

The dark-haired mage held out her hand. "You know he wouldn't like it if he found out we were snooping, Anders."

"Oh come on, Brianna, haven't you ever wondered what he writes about us?"

She dove for the book, but Anders sidestepped her, keeping it out of her reach. "It can't be any worse than the elaborate stories he already makes up about me."

"You might be surprised" he informed her as he began to read. "Listen to this little tidbit… _Broody was drunk off that Tevinter stuff when I paid him a visit tonight. Normally when he gets like that, he sulks, but this time he became a rather chatty elf. The good news is that he finally confirmed something I have suspected for a while now. It seems that my elven companion has something new to brood over…Hawke. He has it so bad for that girl that I wouldn't be surprised if he makes up love poems about her in his head._ "

"Anders," Brianna pleaded "please stop. I really shouldn't be hearing this. Fenris would die if he ever found out."

"Bonus" the blonde-mage grinned wickedly.

"And he'd kill Varric to boot" she reasoned.

"Alright," he conceded with a sigh and turned to another page. He read for a few moments before bursting into laughter

"What?" Brianna asked with a scowl. "More about Fenris or me?"

When he finally calmed down, he shook his head and wiped a tear from his eye. "Better. It's about Isabela." His brow creased as he looked over at the pirate lying on the floor. "I wonder if it's true."

Brianna knew she should just let it be, but her curiosity got the better of her. "What?" she asked, drawing out the word.

Anders smirked. "It seems that our fearless Raider has herself a brand new tattoo."

The other mage shrugged. "So? She has a few of them. She's shown them to me."

"Yes, I have seen them as well…but this one is…different."

"Different how?"

"Well, apparently she went to see Varric a few days ago all up in arms because she got drunk and slept with a tattoo artist who asked to brand her afterward. She agreed, but sorely regretted the decision the next day."

Brianna didn't see the humor in that at all. "So he put his name on her or something?"

The healer waggled his head. "No. It seems that she decided to call this man a pet name so he in turn decided to ink a picture of that animal into Isabela's skin."

Brianna still didn't find the situation funny. She assumed it was probably a tiger or maybe a bear. "So what was the animal?"

A wide grin spread across Anders face. "A fluffy, cuddly little lamb…right under her left breast. According to Varric, Isabela says that the feet poke out from under it." The dark-haired mage closed her eyes and bit her lower lip so hard that it nearly drew blood to keep from laughing. "There's more" the healer announced. "Varric says she's most upset because she'll never be able to have a proper shag again due to the fact that she can never let anyone see her breasts again."

"Do you think it's true?" Brianna queried, wiping away a tear from her own eye. "You know how Varric and Isabela both tend to stretch reality."

Anders lifted his shoulder and let it fall. His amber eyes moved to Isabela. "There's only one way to find out."

Brianna thought to protest. She knew it was wrong and a complete invasion of her friend's privacy, but she just had to see it, if it even really existed. "Okay," the dark-haired mage finally agreed. "I'll just pull back the top of her dress and hold up her breast to take a peek."

Almost immediately, Brianna found the task impossible, what with the size of the pirate's bosom and the tightness of her clothing. Even as low cut as the dress was, there was no way she was going to be able to lift her breast to see beneath it. She sat back on her heels.

"I suppose there's nothing else for it. We're just going to have to raise up her skirt to get a good look."

"Are you insane?" Anders whispered. "What if she wakes up?"

"I'll do the lifting," the other mage offered "but I might need a little help getting it up over her hips."

"I am not doing that" the healer argued. "If she comes to, there's a good chance I'll find one of those daggers in my gut."

"It's not like she's _completely_ naked under there Anders. She's wearing smallclothes."

"If those black frilly things can even be called that."

"For the Maker's sake, Anders, you're a healer. You see a lot more than that in your clinic on a daily basis."

"Yes, but that is only in a professional capacity. This…this is different."

Brianna let out an irritated sigh. "Do you want to know if it's true or not?"

"Fine" he huffed. "Just hurry, okay?"

Brianna lowered herself to her knees between the pirate's legs and slowly began sliding the dress up before shaking her head. "How in the bloody hell does she even get this thing on?" she questioned as she struggled with the fabric. Anders refused to look, keeping his eyes on the fireplace at the opposite wall. When Brianna asked for his help to lift Isabela's hips, he did so awkwardly, his gaze focused on the chandelier above their heads.

Just as Brianna got the material below the other female's breasts, and subsequently the place where the tattoo should be hidden, Isabela stirred and opened her eyes. A small smirk played at the corner of her lips as she pulled the female mage down on top of her. "If you wanted to have some girly fun, sweetpea, all you had to do was ask."

Brianna chuckled nervously as Anders scrambled away. Luckily, Isabela's head dropped back to the floor and she began snoring loudly. The mages simultaneously breathed a huge sigh of relief and Brianna quickly pushed the dress up to reveal a picture of the cutest doe-eyed, fluffy little lamb she had ever seen. The thing was huge, taking up the entire area beneath Isabela's massive breast and then some. Brianna laughed as quietly as she could.

Anders, glanced over his shoulder. "Is it actually there?"

"Oh, it's there all right" the dark-haired mage chuckled. "You've got to see this thing."

The healer finally dared to look and his jaw dropped. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed with a laugh. "I'm surprised Isabela didn't gut the bastard that did that to her."

Brianna shrugged. "Who's to say she didn't? It is Isabela we're talking about."

The pirate moaned loudly. "Okay," Anders whispered, a note of panic in his voice. "Hurry and cover her before she wakes up again."

Brianna pulled Isabela's dress back down as best she could before leaving the pirate snoring peacefully on the floor once again. The two mages decided to leave the rest of the mess until morning, both wondering what to do with the new information they had discovered that evening.

For the next week, they each took turns ordering lamb stew for their evening meal at the Hanged Man and saying things like, "Be a _lamb_ and get that for me will you?" Isabela suspected they knew, of course, and continually shot Varric murderous looks. After the ninth day, Anders' conscience must have gotten the better of him, because he told Isabela what happened and kept her from killing the two mages and Varric by getting rid of the offensive little beast through both a blade and magic.

None of their other companions knew about Isabela's shameful secret, but for the rest of their days together, both Anders and Brianna affectionately referred to their pirate friend as "agnellino" which is Antivan for "little lamb".


End file.
